Tuesday 24 November 2020

 
Donald Trump accepts transition from fantasyland to reality must begin
      In a tweet last night he wrote the following.  “I like fantasyland. It’s nice. Everyone thinks I’ve done a great job and that my hair is really cool. However, in the interests of America, I accept the need for the country to transition to reality.”
     It is expected that after the transition and President Trump leaves office, he will completely disengage with reality and live full-time in his fantasyland where is the best President of all time and hits of hole-in-one on every shot.

Queen Elizabeth II claims vote by Continental Congress to remove British Monarch in America was rigged, demands it be set aside
      Queen Elizabeth II has accused the United States of ‘rigging’ a vote for the Continental Congress to remove the British Monarch as head of state, according to a statement from the court of St James today.
       Elizabeth says millions of Americans actually want her in charge, and has suggested that the vote  was not only rigged but foreign agents interfered with it – probably the French.   
     “They haven’t verified the signatures”, said Sir Simon FitzWilliams, new-appointed Governor of Massachusetts.   “Look at the size of this one by someone calling themselves ‘John Hancock’. It’s huge. Nobody real signs their name like that.”
     “And the rest of them are all that same oldy-worldy cursive script with the same pen and ink. What are the chances of that from different people? We demand proof they weren’t all written by the same person in a blatant attempt to fix the vote.”

Governor Frees All Drug Dealers To Provide Prison Space For Families Celebrating Thanksgiving 
     To prepare for the influx of Thanksgiving rulebreakers, Oregon Governor Kate Brown has ordered all drug dealers to be freed from prison to make room for all the families who violate COVID restrictions.
     Drugs are legal now anyway," said Governor Brown. "I hereby pardon all drug offenders currently doing time in Oregon prisons.


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