Had It in Holland Park

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US president has once again brought his considerable business acumen to bear on matters of international diplomacy by successfully persuading Russian President Vladimir Putin to lower the amount of the bounty a Russian military intelligence unit has placed on coalition forces in Afghanistan by 2%.   “Putin is a strong leader, great leader, very strong leader, tremendous leader,” Trump said in a press conference to announce his strategic victory. “But I’m better,”            From the Beaverton

Epstein assassin wearily repacks murder suitcase

In the wake of the arrest of Epstein’s ex-girlfriend, Ghislaine Maxwell, assassin Simon Williams woke up to 73 missed calls and 38 voicemails from various celebrity nonces who are keen to have the woman unalived. "*sigh* fine,” remarked Williams, digging out his murder suitcase from the wardrobe. “I was hoping for some time off, but $38 million is $38 million     From NewsThump