Tuesday 15 September 2009
Abuse of Cosby
Here is a new viral email. Much as I like Bill Cosby’s ideas on personal responsibility, this manifesto seems a bit infantile and self-defeating. I think it unlikely HE wrote this – I suspect someone far less intelligent put it out over his name to steal some of his credibility and star power.
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it, go to language school or wait outside of our borders until you can. Great idea!
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here! Of course this will result in a depression worse than ’29, as every export-based business fails and millions lose their jobs
(3).. When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here. Doubling the price of most consumer goods and a large portion of capital goods, thus deepening the depression mentioned above. Good way to stimulate hyper-inflation, though.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens. Not a bad idea, though it still won’t make a secure border (as the
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it. Bit of a dislocation that will further deepen the depression, but not unfair.
(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades. Will the urinalysis requirement extend to checks for farm & steel subsidies, bank & car bailouts, tax rebates, medicare payments, research grants and other similar handouts?
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life. Same for any pain-killers used to improve a hurt player‘s performance
(8). Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc. A bit more barbaric than Sharia law, but not unfair. Will cheating on income tax forms be considered theft? What about using an empoyer’s telephone for private calls?
(9).. One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil. This will make our wheat competitors (
(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause. Who will run the disaster fund?
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress. Great Idea!
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Great Idea! (Will those who don’t play it go to prison camps?)
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes ..... nevertheless. .....
GOD BLESS
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
# posted by Had It in Holland Park @ 04:51 
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